Stuff that happens at 4am

Hiking the Y isn’t that great of a hike, but for some reason I hike it a lot. Twice in the last week. I hiked it on Friday at about 8am. It took me 28 minutes, which was less than the 30 minute goal I set for myself. I hiked it again today, reaching the Y at 3:25 am; hiking it at a more casual pace of 30 minutes. Hiking the Y in the middle of the night without a moon and without a flashlight can be kind of spooky, but I was surprised how lit up things were from the city lights from Provo down below.

I hike the Y for exercise sometimes, and sometimes I hike it to think, but mostly both.

Tonight I was thinking about who I am, what I want to become, and why I want to become that. I still can’t decide if my reasons are intrinsically or extrinsically motivated.

Within 18 hours I’ll be in Oregon. I think I might hike saddle mountain while I’m there. I have some events Wednesday and Thursday, but I’m not sure about my schedule other than that. Maybe I’ll just lay low.

One of the things about feelings, is that it is hard to figure out why we feel a particular way. Do we feel that way because that is the way we think we should feel, or is it something more?

Boldness is something I’ve been thinking about doing more of. Even though sometimes it is good to be all cool like, actions don’t always go noticed unless they bold. Colors can be bold or weak, and even though the soft colors can produce lovely scenes, they might not be appreciated unless something is bold and stands out more brave than the rest. Clouds are the same way–they are easier to recognize when they are well defined–brilliant white contrasted against a deep blue sky. After everything is done, I hope that maybe being a little bold will end up being for something positive–even if it isn’t the positive I seek–because otherwise it might be a little embarrassingly awkward.