Dating for pre-arranged marriages
Posted in Insightson Dec 16, 2006
Do people in pre-arranged marriages need to date? If you were in a pre-arranged marriage, do you date and get to know your arranged fiance?
On one hand, dating can be a stressful activity, and one that could be avoided completely in a pre-arranged marriage situation. Not only that, but eliminating dating could be financially beneficial.
On the other hand, dating can be a fun activity where the couple can get to know each other. Even in a pre-arranged marriage, learning about the other person in various situations, including pre-marital and dating situations, could prove to be helpful later when married. Not only that, but the beginning stages of marriage can be difficult time merging two lives into a companionship, and dating before marriage could alleviate the difficulties during that phase.
Fortunately, this question doesn’t really need to be answered.
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8 Comments
Lillian
December 18th, 2006 at 1:17 am
I would give a definite “NO!” to the dating before pre-arranged marriages. And let me tell you why. What if you find out you absolutely hate the person? That’ll give you unnecessary anger and frustration and might even lead to suicide, especially if you already love someone else. Take Juliet’s reaction to being set up with Paris, for example. I mean, if you have to live with someone you’ve never met for the rest of your life, then you might as well have the physical bond of your wedding night to pull through all their obnoxious habits. This may sound strange, but sex creates feels that imitate love… or at least a dependence on the other person, which is important in marriage. That way, it gives you time to genuinely learn to love that person.
P.S. who would arrange the marriages?
Lillian
December 18th, 2006 at 1:20 am
Whoops, I meant to say, “feelings” not “feels.”
Nicole
December 18th, 2006 at 2:31 pm
hahaha yacob you crack me up!! I think that maybe they shouldn’t date.. because if it’s a prearranged marriage then they pretty much HAVE to get married… or die. or something. sooo what if they didn’t like each other much and then the marriage would be this huge dreaded thing. whereas maybe if they were to not date, they would meet on their wedding day, which would be a happy and exciting day and maybe they would have a better first impression and it would completely change their attitude. that question is really an interesting one to think about.
Jacob
December 19th, 2006 at 2:37 am
Interesting ideas. I really didn’t consider the sex-factor. But then here is my question: If you didn’t date before the marriage ceremony, do you have sex on your wedding night?
It just seems to me that a pre-arranged marriage couple needs to do at least some dating before their pre-arranged marriage in order to ease the transition into married life.
Lillian
December 20th, 2006 at 6:28 am
I’d say you’d sleep together. I mean, what’d be stopping you, you’re married! So basically all you have to do is just pray that you have a good looking pre-arranged spouse.
Shiny
July 27th, 2007 at 1:15 am
Its ‘fiancee’ for you and ‘fiance’ for her:)
tom
February 26th, 2008 at 4:11 am
i think the prearraged marriages should not hapen becasue some people might not find the person they love because they are with somone they hate but if u love that person go for it and be happy if not im always here to get married with any girls how are look for a long marriages and would like to get up somtime love you girl
sam
November 22nd, 2008 at 8:18 am
This whole pre arranged is a big scam created by the male’s whoc ant pick and impress their own mate, its a convenience for the male specious and it needs to go!