Self-answering questions of life

Frequently through life, we have questions about how others feel about us. One of the more common questions in the teen-age or early adulthood years is, “Does she like me?” Of course there are a variety of similar questions which include, “Does he hate me?” It is only natural to ponder these and other questions, and to a certain degree, such reflection is healthy.

When dealing with such subjective questions, we often will form suspicious which we hope will answer our questions. These suspicions or theories may be assigned one of two categories:

• Things we hope for and want to be true
• Things we fear and wish not to be true

After such a suspicion or theory is formed, we will work to find evidence which supports our theory. But since human nature is so mixed and confusing, there will always be evidence for many of our suspicions. And because we usually approach our theories from a non-scientific point of view, we quite often find evidence to support whatever we are thinking.

This then allows us to gain an interesting perspective into our ways of thinking. Recalling my two categories for theories about what people think of us. If we tend to form theories that consistently fit into one of the categories, then we have some insight about what we usually think about things.

Now let me give a few examples. Perhaps I want to know if a girl likes me. I may think, “Maybe she likes me, I hope that she does.” In think case I will find evidence that she likes me, such as, she smiled at me today, or she looked me in the eye when she said hi. If this is the way I hypothesize about someone liking me, then I might be able to see qualities of optimism and confidence in my personality.

If on the other hand, I may think, “Maybe she hates me, but I hope she doesn’t.” Even though I hope she doesn’t hate me, my hypothesis is that she does. I then will find evidence such as, she didn’t sit next to me in class today, or she only said a few words to me when we talked. Finding these things will disappoint me, but they may lead me to conclude that in fact she doesn’t like me. If this is the way I go about thinking about whether or not she likes me, I might be able to see aspects of pessimism or doubt on my personality.

In conclusion, sometimes in live we will have questions about who we are or how others view us. Whatever our views are, our attitudes will help to provide the answers we seek. We also need to be careful and observative about what types of questions we ask, if they may be generally positive our doubtful.

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