I recently broke the 300 post mark on this blog. Either I enjoy typing, or I don’t have a life. I’ve been writing more and more about religious topics here, which I guess makes this one of many mormon blogs. I’ve had some good posts. About 50 posts ago, I wrote about how one can go about finding self. About 100 posts ago I shared a graph which charts how many characters I write in posts in each hour of the day. And about 200 posts ago I shared an analogy about DTRs.
Posted in Socialon May 29, 2005
I heard this today and I thought it was interesting enough to share.
Lets compare growing a relationship between two people to growing a plant. To frequent DTRs are like pulling the plant up to examine its roots. Its not going to grow very well that way. If, however, you are concerned with nurturing it, then it is more likely to grow.
Posted in Socialon Oct 10, 2004
Why has DTR become such a dirty word? Well, dirty for Provo at least. People hate them, they avoid them, they treat them like they are something horrible, worse than dirtly laundry. I’ve even seen a picture of a t-shirt with the letters DTR all crossed out.
The hatred towards DTRs reminds me of the hatred towards companionship inventory. Missionaries grew to hate the term. Even though they were suppose to be held weekly, companionships fulfilled their duration, successfully avoiding a companionship inventory. They hated them because they were only used in times of conflict. A companionship inventory was where a missionary had so much bottled up frustration that it was to come out in a companionship inventory. Thus the term “companionship inventory” also became a dirty word.
But I saw through this, and had many great companionship inventories. The key was having them regularly, and especially when things were going well. They became more of a celebration even than the release of conflict frustration. I got back to the true purpose of companionship inventory, and washed the dirt off the use of the term.
Perhaps it can be the same with DTR. If they are held frequently, and in times of good relationship status, then maybe they will not be so hated. They will be the focal point of expressing love for each partner in the relationship. They will actually be used for defining the status of the relationship, and how it can grow.
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