Sometimes I struggle between the part of me which wants to be a nerd and the part of my that can’t stand anything nerdy. I’m not really even sure what nerd means, but I know that different applications of the word bring about different responses from me.

I ate too much apple pie today. The Sara Lee pies have been on sale for $1.98 each (no sales tax) so I’ve been eating way too much pie as of late. This is my first pie though in over a week, so I think maybe I’m doing ok now.

I think I make a big deal over small things. For example, this week I created a new homepage for myself, whatever that means. I’m not even sure if I would want to call it a homepage, but I created it. Initially it was just something small, a quick 20 minute project. But then I wanted to make it better, then more colorful, then I wanted more functionality out of it, then I wanted to make it good enough for other people to use, then I wanted to tweak some of the values, then blah blah blah. I made a big deal about it.

Have you ever wondered if there were an exact copy of yourself, personality and everything, if you would love your copy or be annoyed by it? Would someone who thinks they are always right always argue with his copy? I think that if this were to happen, and I had a copy, I could see tons of stuff that I would hate about myself that otherwise I can’t see in myself.

One of the things that I thought when I moved to Oregon is that I would fit in socially better, and I’m still finding it difficult. I’m not sure if it is because I’m still the new kid, or that the average age of my peers is older, or if I’m just being stupid. Maybe I’m just a nerd and people here don’t want to be around me. I really felt comfortable socially in Provo; I felt like I was on top of the game. Maybe I’ve lost it though, and when I move back to Provo I’ll find it hard to have friends.

Mmm, a slice of apple pie right before bed wouldn’t kill me would it?

Sometimes I struggle with not being married, but sometimes I’m ok with it. I guess maybe what it is is that I’m ok with not being married right now, but I don’t like the idea of being single in the future. For about the last three or four years I was told that “it was my year.” I’m ok with the fact that last year wasn’t my year, or that this year may not be my year either, and I’ll continue to be fine with it as long as my year comes sometime this decade.

Maybe I’m getting a little too personal here and I should be typing all of this in my secret blog. But I’ve also had the thought that I’ve been way to formal or serious on my blog recently, so I’m not really sure what I should type where. In the shower tonight I considered creating yet another blog where I would write all the boring or serious stuff, like politics, sports, and reviews, so I can use this blog more for this personal type of stuff.

Well, I have to teach Sunday School tomorrow, and while my lesson is mostly prepared already, if I don’t get some good sleep tonight, then I’m not going to think clearly enough to be able to make my lesson interesting. So I’m hitting the collection of springs and padding which is commonly called a bed.